as i mourne the loss of our cat this morning, i deeply sad and for the life of me i can’t really explain why but all i know is that it is hitting me harder than i thought it would.
we had a cat, his name was ozzy. his master, my boyfriend had him for 18 years and i have been a part of his life for almost 9 years. it took me 2 years to get used to the fur ball and now the emptiness is sad. i keep going downstairs knowing he will never be at the door wanting in or the idea that my boyfriend took away his food dish this morning was hurtful but i think he needed to do that for his own well being.
ozzy had been suffering for quite some time but as i watched over him for the last two weeks, things got worse. i guess i did not realize how important this was for me.
there are many factors here at play.
i won’t give you details about his last few weeks but just to remind people that when you own a pet, they become a big part of your lifestyle.
i did not know that.
now, the relationship. i keep thinking about what is holding us together. i believe now it is more about financial responsibility, companionship and commitment. the cat was the one thing we could talk about and hold dear to each other. as we grieve this loss, another bullshit shit show to survive, i wonder what next.
all i said out loud last night was so many changes. i am sure you can agree.