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mental health

The Dream of An Afterlife.

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what do really know about the after life? most religious people believe there is a place we go that brings us peace. for the rest of us, who don’t believe in anything, what is there? funny thing is lately i have been dreaming very odd places, whether it is my brain on overload or just because I watched something stupid on television, it has me baffled.

last night, weird as this will sound, this place was about selection. each area had a certain criteria, where you fit in. not far from the truth in the real world. so, I got to thinking, I am no better in the after life than in real life, then what is the point?

it is very sad when you reach your bottom as though nothing seems positive and nothing can bring you back from this misery. i find myself lingering onto to different perspectives of my life only because i am searching for answers.

the truth is i am not even sure what i want anymore and where to turn. the idea that i am who i am because everything has its place is simply ridiculous at the moment and although i keep myself busy with the blog and creating, i still believe it is all a waste of time. however, what else do i have but time on my hands.


Is There Life After Death

it is just a question.

yesterday, i filled out yet another application for a job and all was a very long process and in the end part they want me to create a 3 question video of myself. well now, being on camera is not my strong suit and unfortunately they will be able to tell that i do no look the part for any viewing. however, i guess in order to finish the submission, i must do it. i will let you know it turns out, although i am not confident they will choose me.

as far as careers, it is such a long and painful process, the questions, the interviews, the selling myself talents in order to make a measly $16.00 per hour. i have lowered my standards and I can’t accept it. every company I have tried has failed me and I don’t know what will come next.

so for today, i will just admire the words and hope is not in my dictionary.

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