the more i interact with people, the more i realize the atmosphere is getting worse. people are feeling the effects of stress, depression, self doubt and most of all lack of ambition. not knowing where to turn or how to fix our inner self is a difficult situation. you feel as though no one will understand or feel judged for even being depressive.
i know. i was judged and look where i ended up.
losing parts of yourself i not only sad but it makes us wonder about our purpose in life and i can tell you, my self-doubt is very bad these days. i had to go for my medical yesterday because i hold a special license ( which by the way is a waste now ) but nonetheless, i keep it because of the hard work i did in attaining this privilege. as i sad in the doctor’s office, i kept thinking, it is she has no idea what is going inside my head because she probably would have booked an appointment for a shrink which by the way is impossible to get because of the number of people who need this service in 2020.
i really do feel alone and betrayed is a good word but i do get up and continue only because it seems to be my path. i guess if i had to look at the bigger picture, i am sure someone somewhere is feeling just as i am.
i used to shine, i used to lead, i used to work hard for what i needed and wanted …
because of one circumstance, one situation, one lifetime ago, i have lost. now i work in an envirornment that gives me no potential, that doesn’t allow me to shine or do more and i get yelled at constantly. i am worried it will ruin me for good.
but i have to make money, so here we are …
what are your thoughts? what are you feeling in this moment in time? let me know.