We all know I am a creature of design and trying new ways to improve my presence online and as time goes on, I feel the competition is much harder than I expected. I am not without patience and determination, therefore as I continue tweaking, I am wondering about my future yet again. 2019 has been the worse year for me since probably my crash in 2006 and I can tell you, life has really made me consider the possibility even though I strive for better, something is just not letting me succeed.
Fighting this cloud over my ‘aura’ haunts me enormously and I can’t help but wonder if my direction is wrong. When it comes to my lifestyle in reality, I don’t enjoy change, although I adapt well, I pretty much like the steady income and all that comes with it. Not knowing where my next dollars will come from is taken it’s tole on me and I fear that my health is suffering yet again.
Lack of sleep, pain in my neck are signs that stress is lurking and I cannot continue this way. I need to be completely peaceful in order to function. I have always been a very strong person but lately I feel certain habits are forming and this is not good for my present in the online world. People who read my blog at times must think I am totally off my rocker but I can assure you, it is merely a demonstration that although life is shitty, we can recover from anything.
The other item that haunts me this morning is being proud of my accomplishments and who I am. Not feeling it these days and I can honestly say I don’t know where to turn. I do realize it probably is a hole in my present life and eventually, I will get out of it but I am at this moment and it isn’t good. The only thing that really keeps me sane is coming online and keeping myself occupied with creativity.
As I start my day, I will focus on the good i have in my life and hope that good news will follow.