when did working so many hours become something necessary to survive? i can’t remember the last time i worked so many hours but this week will be an 8 day stretch. i have not pushed myself this hard since 2018 but my body is certainly feeling the tiredness.
mentally i had a little breakdown yesterday, i felt no confidence and certainly didn’t like being treated like shit. people can be so mean and disrespectful but i think with all the chaos around the world, people don’t realize their actions.
i still find it difficult taking shit when shit is not deserved.
if i go back in time for a little memory fart, i remember someone once said, “toughen up or you will never make it”. what did they know, right? i believe showing our vunerability can define the character. if people see you are sensitive to certain situations, the connection should be stronger. on the other hand, people will say if you are to soft, people will walk all over you and take advantage.
so there you have it.
you can’t win. you can’t lose. you just exist to survive. this is what we have become.
as i step out of my comfort zone and into a new world of push, push, i find there are benefits being at home but i must say i miss being out in the world. i feel people’s struggle with lack of social interaction and the ability to just breathe. it isn’t fair and we certainly can’t force the issue.
we do not know what the rest of the year will bring but we can assure ourselves that no matter what limit we set for ourselves, in the end, it will never be enough.
people are mean, selfish and do not appreciate ones’ willingness to help.