My Mental Demons are not Happy they are Curious

Published Categorized as Mental Health

Blockage. What do we really know about the brain? Anxiety, instability, and chaos, are all words that describe someone who feels the emotions of mental health on any given day. You could be the healthiest person alive and still have a breakdown. The problem is society sees what they want to see and does not quite understand the meaning of it all. They judge without even considering the effects of their judgment. Some will have you speak to a professional, and others will have you get a prescription to ease that chaos but in the end, the truth is without understanding your own mental health, you will never subside whatever is lurking inside.

I had a strange dream last night that got me thinking. I dreamt of an old boyfriend, my first real one at the age of 16, he is dead now which really threw me for a loop but I kinda believe I had some unfinished business with him because, in the dream, I kissed him and said I was sorry for hurting him. Ya, flippy right? It does make you think though how true the inner mind works.

There is another subject. Life after death. Who really believes or knows if it really exists? I don’t believe in it but that’s just me. I am a practical crazy and what I don’t see, I don’t believe. If there was life after death, I think my son would come back and tell me. We used to speak about that all the time and I am quite sure he would be destined in the afterlife to come to say: “Mom, I am ok.”

I have not been able to face that death since his passing, I really don’t know how to be honest but every time I think of him, like at this moment since his passing 2 weeks ago, the questions start again. What at that moment was going on, if he really sick in the end or did he just give up?

I will never get closure because of what his father did but that is fine. If you have not read the story of how my son passed away, I encourage you to, then you will understand.

All this to say, suffering in silence is never the answer. Reach out to those whom you know, talk about it and be in your chaos but don’t feel alone. Until the next time my readers, be safe, and be yourself.

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