the questions that pile up are a sign that something isn’t sitting right and you need to ask yourself:
what can i do to change?
the thing is why is always me that has to change? why is it that people can’t change to adapt to my needs and surroundings? i guess because what other people need and want aren’t the same. granted when people think they want the same thing isn’t always the truth.
yes i live a lie, a big one but when looking back, i had to make choices to better the reasoning behind my actions. i guess what i really wanted to believe is that this was the life i was suppose to live and that’s it.
i feel it more and more these days, being locked up in this cage is horrible. most people will say i chose my path but when in fact even though i did make the choice, doesn’t mean it was what i really wanted.
i was trying to prove a point and now that i have, everything is a mess.
in the present moment
it’s a new work week, and i am slow worrying that my career was another mistake but i have to live with it. Sunday was an abusive day, colleges, customers and most of all people that i don’t even like were bashing me. i am really sick of being dictated too and pointed too and it feels as though i am a target of some sort of conspiracy.
i keep wondering when i can free myself of all this and be happy in all that i do because it just doesn’t seem possible.
for lack of funds, i just can’t see the future brighter and no one can help because i know a lot of people are feeling the same thing. so the question remains:
how do we change to better our world and the people who live in it?