it is very disturbing to me when happy people surround me only because they are successful in all that they do. I feel as though I have been stripped away from getting anything good in my life and why should I surround myself with happy people? they have been given a golden egg and it isn’t fair while I struggle not only with my mental health but with my day-to-day life. finances are a priority and I shouldn’t have to decide where $1 will go next. I should be able to live a comfortable life and relieve this stress.
happy thoughts, so far away. I haven’t had one in a very long time, people see what I allow them to see in my work, my house or even out in public. what they don’t know is that this creature is struggling big time and I am sick of it. probably while I stay in my office longer than I need to because I can’t be around anyone any longer. they are the very sickness within my being.
I even read headlines of other bloggers and it has given weakness more than strength to watch their success, therefore I am rethinking my strategy. why all the fluff? why the effort of finding a creative idea? in the end, I know it will be just another adventure I failed.
it is sad that even my son is feeling the effects of this shadow above us, I ask you:
what in the fuck did we do to deserve such a terrible life?
LITTLE NOTE: my blog, I think maybe I will just leave it black and white with plain text. maybe the constant change is radical and besides, it does not keep me sane.