don’t believe a word your therapist tells you about regret and letting go because i will give you the realistic version.
the problem people have been conditioned to believe is that regret is something that will weigh down your healthy lifestyle and fill your mind with inevitable sorrow and pain. the fact is when you have been hit with tragedy or loss, it isn’t something you can just put in a balloon and watch it float away like it doesn’t exist.
experience, good or bad are what makes us human. although you have suffered great negativity, loss, depression, regret, and all of the hurt in your life, these are important to live a more realistic lifestyle.
take me i am still regretting and bitching about my decisions of 2018 and in my mind it still haunts me. career decisions are never easy especially when you are good at something but lately i find myself thinking more and more about what kind of work i like and what makes me stronger. i spent 7 years doing something i really enjoyed, good pay but the stress of the added responsibility i took on near killed me.
the reason i regret leaving is simple. i needed a shake down and someone to make me realize that a break would have been a better course but of course we all know how that turned.
all i am saying is that even though time still shows us our mistakes, failures and regrets, they are still a part of who we are.
i am going a job now that isn’t good pay but i took it because i need the money. sadly it isn’t the career type job but it works for now. i am helping people and doing the best i can to fix what needs to be fixed. the good is that my contribution to the house funds is a plus now and that in itself is helping my moral.
i think many people in the world are feeling the difference with working from home and it can be quite depressing. when you see no one and interact with people only on social media or by phone, it is hard. you feel a disconnection and empty.
it does have its upside, i don’ t have to dress up every day and if i don’t like what a person is saying i can make face and they see me. i can just be me and no one is the wiser.
that is what is important …
i do miss my other life though and everyone who knows me knows. it is a fulfillment that i will never have again and i truly believe it is unjust.