ever get the feeling something isn’t right? that gut feeling telling you to change certain aspects, well this morning, I am that feeling and not only have I been feeling this way about my life but it is getting deeper and deeper.
the question is what to do about it.
I know for one thing, this merry magic website for the holidays needs a bit of a re-design. I really don’t like it and for some, I thought it was good but now I see it is not what I intended. such as everything else about my life and it is very sad to say because I can’t make bigger changes, I can try small things.
That’s it right, the baby steps. Remember people telling you that when you were going through some sort of crisis in your life, if you take baby steps and stop waiting to make bigger changes, all would work out. Such bullshit, I don’t believe in that at all. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is never far behind my life and I truly believe I have been cursed by someone or something for as long as I can remember.
Why is it that some people struggle more than others?
It isn’t fair really especially when one can certainly remember to have tried so hard to make a great life and yet all went to shit. Inevitably, regret sets in and then you start re-capping all those mistakes and can’t see clear to the next path.
Remember in the last post I kept talking about “faking it until you make it”?
I can’t. I just am set to much in my ways that I can’t pretend. I am going to pretend only to a certain point then when something isn’t sitting right, I am going to have to let it out.
I want to the whole package, I want the change to come and fast and there is nothing I want more. My life, I am sick of what is happening and there is never anything good about it. Yes, I have the necessities, yes, we are all healthy, that moral compass of whatever I should be grateful for but unfortunately, that isn’t enough.
My well being depends on me being happy and exactly where I belong. I don’t see it happening anytime soon, therefore what comes next?
in the moment:
While I ponder to decorate this website, you decide what isn’t working and see if you can come up with ideas to help the rest of us.
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