how far down is that rabbit hole

today, i struggled with what to talk about only because i have about 4 boxes open. our world is big and i feel like a mere freckle on it for the most part. my ambitions are always high with trying to figure out how to generate money from what i love to do but without success, it becomes apparent that at times i feel very low.

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the question that comes to mind is why some have it all and some don’t

it isn’t fair right and i can honestly say, i am not an angry person but i am very disappointed in myself most of the time. sharing this is very personal to me and i hope that i get the respect i deserve from it.

i am not a high maintenance babe, nor do i expect anything from anyone. what i do feel is that i have worked very hard all my life only to shuffle through life’s misery and tales to tell. yes, i know there are many people who suffer and still do but this post is about me after all.

i really feel i have gotten the shit end of the stick and it isn’t right. i struggle all the time with negativity, depression, sadness and have yet to find my happy place. alas! there is one place i love very much but lately i wondered if all my dreams came true would i feel the same, would i still struggle with my feelings or would i be able to make it better.

good question

as i sit here, just finishing my new page on my travels over the past 7 years, i am reminded of how lucky i was to have experienced all that but also at a price. going from broke, to being a somebody, ( only because i did get my first credit card back then ) and then back down at the bottom really feels disappointing.

i don’t know how i will ever recover from this, as people are feeling in their own way at this time in 2021 but i honestly don’t see the light. so maybe by creating something here, i will get that one client who will change my life.

thank you for reading and always respecting my views. remember to never judge people for you do not know their story.


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