Our lives are preplanned. We have no control over anything and we cannot, even if we map out our destination by making decisions, can foresee the future. Hell, we can’t even decide to do something and know exactly the outcome because clearly everything is not in our hands. Right?
“do what you can and leave the rest.”
Something is seriously wrong in my personal life, the inner me is really crying and wondering what i did to deserve such a poor lifestyle. I worked really hard to do the right thing, pursued careers which i thought were suitable and profitable and failed.
even now, my current job, just a number in the pile of candidates, i am shoved off the edge and left unemployed. one of the fortunate things is that i do have some qualifications that entitle me to take on part-time work but we all know that does not pay the bills.
the other thing that affects this situation is our well-being. when shit hits the fan and your life feels as though it has suffered chaos, again and again, you can’t begin to feel good about anything.
Cursed, demons, people who have wished me ill will, maybe but i am grasping at answers and i feel as though nothing is coming to mind, something is definitely wrong and i can’t put my finger on it. i don’t ask for much just stability, money in my bank account and a good paycheque in order to pay my regular bills. cost of living has gone from crazy to impossible and without sounding like a wine ass, it is very hard.
hope has left the building and i am afraid to even see what bullshit will happen next. maybe i am negative but it is very difficult to be positive when you are treated like a number.