do you ever feel that no matter what you do, no matter how well you think you are doing, there is always some asshole around the corner shooting your efforts down the toilet?
welcome to my world!
never being good enough for some people means just that; you will never measure up to their expectations and as long as they continue to shoot you down, you feel as though you will get ahead. it’s a personality game or a conflict of some sort from generation to generation. people were raised differently in many shapes and forms and the problem with this is that it reflects on the next generations.
we didn’t necessarily get the results we wanted but somehow we always seemed to get what we needed.
they also say we represent our children in some way, being examples of something we all know they will never care what we think or say because eventually they grow up and figure shit out for themselves. I have never nagged or told my children what they should or shouldn’t do, how to act or followed a regiment of “no”. I let them decide at a very young age what they felt was best for their situation.
now that they are adults, they have learned fast that life can hit hard but I know if they need guidance I am here. the problem is I have nothing special to tell them because as life changes constantly, whatever they decide for themselves will certainly be gone the next day.
today, “how important is it” will help me think things through before I act.
I am still not sure either how I survived this long because of all the negativity I have had or the determination that gets dragged into the ground. I thought by now at age 54 I would be o.k. with all my decisions and feelings and yet, it is a constant struggle.
on a happy note, it is #TGIF and that is new for me.