i talk often about all types of different people and how we need to accept everyone for who they are and how they feel. this is the only way to survive. there are some people that still get under my skin but not so much as i get older and realize, some people are just not worth the energy by absorbing what good i have inside.
communication is so key when you need to express something important when feeling less important. take it from experience, if you continue to bottle that shit up, it will destroy whatever good you have left inside. realizing my body and brain have been over worked and tired, i took the last 2 days to just do nothing. catching up on tv and housework yuk! but yesterday i had to face a little certain situation. character flaws are never easy and admitting it is an entirely new concept to some people. they fear the worse or feel confronted with something so they lash out.
i had such an encounter because i told someone something in confidence thinking it would not go further but i did it for my own benefit. this other person felt the need to express her feelings in a negative way by lashing out to me and you know what? that’s ok. she felt threatened by my words and maybe there is something deeper there.
she is in a position of leadership and i just felt she needed a reality check, as someone did to me once a long time ago. vindictive? maybe but i think it was for the best. i went on about my day without even worrying about her words because i have grown so much to realize words that do not affect me, can’t destroy my well-being.
still i am sitting here thinking why she doesn’t even realize what i said had much truth to it. ( it had to do with professionalism ) but she was very verbal about how offended she was even though knowing it would in written format. i didn’t react of course because i felt it was un-necessary. the fire was already big enough.
what is great about this whole situation is for the first time in my life i can honestly say how i am proud to voice my true feelings and not be reprimanded for it or judged. well not to my face anyways.
that’s the thing about working behind a screen, they can’t see you, right? funny.
on the other hand, wednesday i was lucky enough to have the truck and able to go out for a ride and i have to say, i miss being out. so many new things in our little town have changed and it made me realize i need to be surrounded by people. locked up in this house almost all the time is not good for my well-being and i am a people person.
as the weekend flows in, big event coming up that will put me in work hour mode, they are making us work 12 hour shifts this coming Sunday and Monday which does not please me at all but anyone who knows me, money, money, money!