i used to believe that blogging and marketing was fun, turns out it isn’t.
this morning i find myself re-thinking this whole theme thing only because it is my way of expression and feelings play a big role in this. when we are emotionally stressed, it does show in our work and way of life. being able to find peace and serenity has become very difficult and has we look for happiness and light at the end of the tunnel, we find ourselves grasping for air.
this is me.
personally, i hate chaos. one can never be truly happy unless we have everything we desire. it isn’t about needs and wants anymore it is about survival. a long time ago, i was told many times that if you aren’t happy with yourself, it shows and affects everything on the outside.
in my case it really isn’t about that but about my surroundings.
i know. material shit doesn’t matter but it isn’t about physical things but the environment. i used to be in a happy place and unfortunately i fucked all that up. not by my own fault really, i have stopped feeling guilty about decisions but the realization that maybe i was blinded by ambitions.
out of control.
so where does that leave me now. blank.