How to understand the signals & calm the fuck down
Triggers are the worse thing especially when you don’t realize where they are coming from and at that moment, the thoughts that generate can be very scary. I used to think that my mood was just a factor of me being totally off my rocker, but then it hit me!
The awareness fixes it.
That is the key. When you feel yourself overreacting to a situation or something someone said, there is a bigger reason at play. Whatever is happening, your anxiety is NOT an imbalance of hormones but rather a trigger to some event or time when this made a big issue in your lifestyle. It could also be that you feel strongly about something and when people either bash your understanding of it or treat you differently for believing in something they don’t, then all hell breaks loose. You feel as though you aren’t being understood, you ( like me ) want to run away from that situation and not dealing it or you want to lash out at whoever is in front of your face.
Either way, if it happens, none of them will solve the anxiety because it is something that takes a lot of work to calm down. This is not a simple task. Most people will just consider taking a pill and VOILA! all fixed but on the contrary, you are not dealing with the real issue.
It reminds me of someone I once knew. She thought I was a basket case, that I overreacted to everything in my life and judged me for everything. When I think about her today, I see that her own anxieties created this mystified situation between us and I always wondered if it was an event she went through with someone she once loved and I reminded her of her. I think about this lady a lot, the friendship we had, the time we spent together and although I miss that lifetime ago, I wish things would have turned out differently. I know I would have handled many situations differently and now I can never go back and fix it.
It breaks my heart to think I was such a fuck up, although, for some, I did great work. To this day, I wish I knew who really believed in my vision, my work and all the effort I put into it.
in the Moment
Today is that so-called “Family Day” and I still don’t understand the concept. I guess it is because I don’t have one really and they just needed another holiday in February to fill those gaps. Nevertheless, I have been cleaning my office and re-organizing and I am almost done. Taking this time off is probably a good thing since I have been tired lately.
The stresses of a new job can really elevate my anxiety but mostly I think people do. Funny thought!
as always, be unconditional and remember to seek help if you really are struggling. You are not alone.