what do we even know about our own qualities? we can define our life but what we say or do but can we truly admit the characteristics. today, i find myself thinking about what it is that makes an individual make choices, what drives the ambition and motivation behind our decisions. do we stop and think of consequences or do we just take the big leap and never look back.
i think not.
most of us know that life experiences come from taking risks, making immature decisions and the lessons we learn are those of failure. if we do something that feels right, in a moment, but in the end shows us the opposite, we know for sure it was the wrong path.
if all goes well, then we know we our facing the journey laid out for us.
as a person who is never quite sure of herself in certain decision making ideas, only because my path has lead and influenced very bad decisions, i wonder now if i had taken a moment to really think or if someone had just ‘slapped’ me upside the head, maybe just maybe today i would be in a better frame of mind.
i don’t really know if the outcome would have been different but i can honestly say, my world isn’t happy at all. i am not where i thought i would be at my age, i feel as though i have wasted much time looking for the wrong thing and my ambitions were directed by wrong influencers.
i believe being unique would have played a better role and dictatorship couldn’t have taken a back seat. people in higher positions think they know what is best for us but in the end i now know they don’t. experience doesn’t always prevail, but character is a much better influence for your own path.
for those who truly think they know me have never seen the true nature of my personality. they only see what i let them and if for even one moment, if i could just be me, things would have turned out much different. if you think for one minute you are right in thinking my path is what it is because of that decision, here it is:
those around me forced something that was unacceptable.
today, i stand for what is the truth, my personal survival and without judgement of others. why can’t they just see that and turn things around.